Sunday, May 27. Day 33.
So. Here's the thing. Originally I thought "Oh, I'll write my talk, give my talk, and then just simply post it to my blog! Bam! Done! The deep-thinking is already done for this Sunday!" Ha. Then this funny thing happened called "Kenzie wrote a talk, then didn't have time to copy it all down onto paper, so it turned into notes. THEN, when actually
giving said talk - - didn't really even follow that outline very well."
Moral of this story? I really wish I had followed my outline. I would have been a lot more confident that my talk actually made some sort of sense... But I asked Holly, Cosette, Lacey, and Brittany after - they said it all worked out, so that's good! Haha. Cause in all honesty, I don't remember much of what I said. That's the thing with "Kenzie being in front of people." --I just bock the experience out of my mind after. Sad, really. But speaking in front of my ward was actually a lot easier than I expected it to be for me - so that was happy :) Minus the part that I'm not sure what I said made sense. Whatever.
Anyhoo. But, before we get to that - as, it will be long, I just want to mention a quick little tidbit from our fireside Tim gave us tonight. Can I just mention again how grateful I am to have such
wonderful, priesthood-holding professors? I love being able to see teachers on this level. It just... changes the perspective of things, ya know? Anyhoo- fireside.
Tim talked to us tonight about Expectations. "What do you expect?" was his opening question. We talked about expectations in general - in life, in our lives, in theatre... all leading up to our testimonies. It was a very "building" type fireside, I think for all of us - at least, I know it was for me. We all have different expectations for different things in lives. The important thing that we need to figure out for ourselves is what those expectations are, then LIVE up to them!
So, now in hopes of redeeming myself, I'll write down a few things I know I talked about - and probably a few I didn't, that I wish I had... (Cause that's how things always go!)
First, I'd like to tell a little bit about myself. My name is Kenzie Ottley, and I was born and raised in the little town of Highland, Utah. I lived there my whole life, so it was a big thing for me moving to Provo when I went to college - a whole half an hour away from home! So, as you can imagine, coming to London was kind of a big deal for me. Before this, the longest I'd ever been away from my family was 3 weeks. This has definitely surpassed that, but I've enjoyed every minute of it.
On that note, I'd like to talk a bit about my family today. I love my family. And I'm not sure what I would ever do without them. This is why, aside from the gospel itself, my family is the most important thing to me in my life. They are my support system, my friends, my go-to people, and the ones I never want to live without. This is why the promise we are given that we can live with our families for all eternity is so close and dear to me. I also love having the knowledge that I will also be able to be with the friends who have become family to me.
However, this also makes me think of those friends who I used to be so close with and know so well - the ones that I used to look up to, but who have now "fallen away." It's been hard to stand on the sidelines, trying to help, but instead just feeling like the "annoying voice that won't go away." But, regardless of how hard it's been for me to watch those close friends fall, I know the things that are
right for me in
my life. I don't know if these friends will come back to the understanding of how true this gospel is in
this lifetime, but I do hope and pray that one day the'll be able to understand again.
Along with this, in the last few years I've come to the realization of not only why it's important to be an example to those around you, but how it could affect my family. I have 9 nieces and nephews, and until around my junior year in high school, I'd never thought much about how they looked up to me. I mean, I had thought about it, just not in much depth. Until the time when my niece got into art - she'd come to me, asking if I could help her, teach her, and show her my art for ideas. More recently, I was talking with my oldest nephew - somehow he, I and one of my younger nieces had gotten on the subject of "when Kenzie will get married." He suddenly realized that in 4 years he's be leaving on his mission. He quickly let it be known that I WAS NOT ALLOWED to get married while he was on his mission! That he HAD TO BE THERE! Now, I obviously agree with him - I've known the kid since I was 5. It just made me laugh, and realize how much he actually cared and paid attention to things like that. As each of them grow older I see the strengths within each of them, and all it makes me want to do is be the best I can be for
them. I love them, and never want to give them a reason to end up making a stupid decision with the excuse of "That's how Kenzie did it!" Granted, no one is perfect, but as is life! All we can do is work to be our best, learning from mistakes along the way.
In this past April's General Conference, President Uchtdorf said,
"...in Their perfect love for you, Heavenly Father and the Savior want you fitted to be with Them to life in families forever. Only those washed perfectly clean through the Atonement of Jesus Christ can be there." Isn't that so true? They love us - and because of that we are able to live with Them and our families here on earth for
all eternity. It's because of the Atonement of our Savior that we are able to live with our Heavenly and earthy parents forever.
The Atonement of our Savior is already complete. However, we need to fill in our part - by living how He would want us to, and keeping His commandments. It was again through watching friends struggle in the last few years that I've learned the importance of this principle. There were times when I remember doubting myself, not understanding why my close friends would start rebelling against the one sure thing in this world. But it was through this that I learned the importance of prayer - of strengthening my relationship with my Savior and finding comfort and guidance through Him.
Though I'm still not perfect
in
always looking to Him in the things I should, I'm working on it. I
do know that He's always there for me, and that He knows me better than anyone else.
I love my Savior. I know He once lived, died, and was resurrected for each individual person that has, does, and will ever live on this earth in these days. He gives me the strength to get through anything I put my mind to, and comforts me in the times when I stress myself out too much (which happens more than not...). I'm so very grateful for this gospel, and for parents who raised me in such a house that helped me learn the importance of having a close relationship with my Savior. I'm grateful for the family I was sent to, and wouldn't ever trade any of them for anything. They bring me pure joy, even if it's just through Skype, as the circumstances are now. :) I know Joseph Smith is and was a prophet, and his mission to restore this gospel to the earth was truly successful. It brings me joy everyday of my life, and I'm so very grateful for it. I'm thankful for my friends on missions, for the examples they are to me in taking those two years out of their lives to serve the Lord, to teach and bring our other brothers and sisters around the world into this gospel. The church is true, and I know that my Heavenly parents, Savior Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are always on my side, cheering me on throughout my life. I'm grateful for my family, I love each one of them dearly, and am excited to live with them forever and all eternity. ;)
...And that was... a
lot more than what I actually said to my ward. But, it feels good. I have to say -tonight was one of those nights that I randomly got homesick all throughout our fireside. Weird? A little. But, as I said earlier, Skype is a beautiful thing. I was Skyping my parents, Leesha showed up, then Liz dropped in for a few seconds and I even said hi to Rach over the phone through Skype (ha!) -- Aka: I got a good dose of family that made me feel much better.
Life is good. :) The gospel is
true :)
I'll be home in less than 3 weeks. Weird.
